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Another Day, Another Dollar - Self-Inflicted Cruelty [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
ashan_serei

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Another Day, Another Dollar [Dec. 26th, 2008|08:26 pm]
ashan_serei
I've always taken for granted that I was going to outgrow many things, especially many teenage things.  That's what you do, right?  You drop all those hormonal teenage insecurities after a while and grow into being an "adult."  You learn, you grow, and you outgrow.

What a bunch of bullshit.

I can read old journals and point at certain lines and say, "I'm still afraid of that."  "I still fear this."  A couple of years has changed nothing in that regard, not the feeling itself nor the intensity in which the feeling is felt.  It's just a bunch of bullshit, like many of the "adult" concepts.

I still feel insecure, and I still have this feeling of fear.  It hasn't changed.

No matter how many years pass, I'm still terrified that I'm going to die alone, and no one will care.

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